Beliefs, Thoughts, Emotions and Behaviour

I am sure that you have found yourself in a situation where you:

• acted in a certain way...
• said something without thinking...
• wondered why you did...
• wondered why someone else did something in a certain manner...
• might get upset about something while others do not...
• wonder why do other people stay motivated and others don't...
• feel that your personal motivation does not last...

Chances are good that you are able to answer many of these questions or at best maybe speculate about "why". 

Maybe one should start at why do people see and experience things differently?

Many would say that it is due to a person's past experiences (their frame of reference) or maybe even where and how they grew up.  Many people will take the same view as their parents or families did.

Ultimately it boils down to what you believe! Your belief system is what controls everything:

• What you think of something
• How you feel about something
• How you act on something

It all starts with what you believe. What you believe about something, is YOUR reality and everything is then measured against this.  What you believe about something directly influences how you THINK about something.  For example, let's say you believe that taxi drivers have a total disregard for the rules of the road, that they are inconsiderate and that they are on purpose and are trying to upset other road users (South Africans will understand what I am talking about, as this is related to taxi drivers in South Africa).

You are on your way to work, driving in the middle lane. A minibus taxi cuts across the road from the right hand lane and comes to a complete stop on the shoulder of the left hand lane and only had his hazards on to indicate that he will be stopping.

As a direct consequence of what you believe, you think that the taxi driver is an irresponsible idiot that endangers lives. 

As a direct consequence of what you are thinking you get angry, frustrated and very irritated. Therefore your thoughts directly impacted your emotions.

Now, the fun starts! You act out, be it shaking your head, shouting at the taxi driver (although he won't be able to hear you), maybe even make use of a finger or two, maybe hitting your steering wheel? What you felt made you act out or behave in a certain manner.  It is true that some people are able to control their behaviour and emotions, but that will most certainly be up to a certain point.  We all have a threshold!

As you can see, a lot of things happened before you acted out. The best way to explain it is by way of an iceberg:

This is what you see, the ice drifting on the water. Your actions or behaviour can be related to this. All you see is how someone behaves, what they say, what they do.  But before they acted, there were a series of things that happened inside of them that led to their actions or behaviour.  A lot happens below the service:

From the image you can see that the bulk happens below the surface (or inside a person).

In my next post I will discuss why motivation in most instances are not long lasting and how you can change this as well as some of the other questions that are still unanswered.

In the meantime, please leave your comments on this post so we can start a discussion around this!

Thank you for reading my Blog!

Francois